This boy changed me from the girl who partied too much into a woman who changed everything about herself to give him a good life, but unfortunately pain changes you into someone you can’t even reconize. As time moves forward and the abuse gets worse, you usually turn to something to numb it, so I had done something I hadn’t done since I was a young teenager; I began cutting myself again just to feel something and when I saw that blood flow down my arm the first time, I felt relief. I had kept in secret for a long time until he had gotten me to a point where I just could not take it anymore. (Michael was not home.) He kept making comments about how I would probably be better off dead, so instead of fighting back, I went and grabbed my blade and when I went to put it to my wrist, he slammed me so hard to the ground and then when I got up, he slammed me into out door, which caused bruising and sprained ribs. It’s crazy knowing someone who puts you down, and causes you physical pain can make you believe that it was your fault and you believe him. He would come home from work at 10:30 AM and I would have dinner on the table for him, and breakfast for Michael. If he had a bad night at work, it was automatically taken out on me. Have you ever thought you woke up and the morning was going perfect and in comes your husband who starts a fight instantly over something I had nothing to do with. I tried to consume my days with Michael and family but I always had to go home. I never knew what kind of mood he was going to be in. One minute he was writing me poetry online and then telling how terrible I was in person. I wouldn’t even call it a game because I could never win.