ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

Why Make The Same Mistake Twice?

Again he had asked me to move back to Florida, this time with his parents. Mind you, his mother is just as much of a piece of shit as him. My father in law is absolutely amazing, and although I didn’t want to I went anyway. It was the worst mistake I had ever made in our  11 years of marriage. We weren’t even there a month before my mother in law and I were fighting over the most ridiculous things ever. She was INSANE! I had gotten my old job back, but the ride there and back was horrible, although I had some amazing friends there I couldn’t do it anymore. Mike was watching me from the parking lot to see what I was doing when I was done working, which was usually having a drink and a shot. I was sitting close to a co-worker as Mike watched my every move. I had left on bad terms with many people, but also on good terms with some pretty amazing people. I had lost almost all of my family in RI due to them thinking I was a liar, or just couldn’t handle me drinking anymore. Who could blame them I was a terrible drunk, but when I had gotten to Florida, I thought things were going to get better. How stupid and weak was I? I am petrified to drive and the closest store took an hour to walk to, so Mike was bringing me home alcohol no matter how hard I tried to stay sober. He wanted me to do bad, He wanted to watch me fail. I had told him about a job that was hiring cooks, so he went in and got the job. I got him a job, he got a girlfriend. He kept me drunk so I wouldn’t notice what he was doing, because clearly he thought I was stupid. He had to stay for “bar duty” every night, but he always made sure he brought home a bottle before he went to work. At this point he was drinking everyday and I was trying to stop. He was always gone so I had to stay sober for the kids, and I did. He had stayed out all night and his father said “Kristy, if you want him out of this house, he’s gone.” I said no because of the kids. God, I fucking hated him. One day while his parents were gone he kept telling me over and over to kill myself. At this point I didn’t care if I lived or died, so I went into his dads room and put a loaded gun to my head, and said “you really want me dead?” The kids DID NOT see any of this. He freaked out, and said “Kristy, put the gun down.” Why would I put that gun down when all he wanted was for me to die. “Fuck you Mike, you just told me to kill myself over and over again.” At that point I was ready to die, but did I really want to leave my children with this monster? That’s when I put the gun down. I checked myself into a hospital for depression, and when I went to call my children he had told me he had put another restraining order on me. Are you kidding me right now? He had wanted me dead, and this was his excuse to have his girlfriend over the house. Mother like son, she left my father in law TWICE and both times got married. Me and my father in law had shared an amazing bond and he kept apologizing and told me we should have kicked him out when we had the chance. He was going to put me into a hotel for one night until his mother said to him “Are you fucking kidding me, she’s coming to my house and neither your son or Joanne are welcome in my home.” I was grateful but devastated that I couldn’t see my children. I had been with them 24 hours a day for a year while Mike was having an affair and using all her drugs. I was done. Grandma Ginger bought me a round trip ticket to RI and back to Florida for the court date. When I came back to court I didn’t know what to do, he begged me for forgiveness and told me about the affair like I didn’t already know. The judge dropped the restraining order and then I went and saw my children. My mother in law was not hearing it, she wanted me gone. So off to the airport I went, without my children because Matthew was born in Florida and it would have been considered “parental kidnapping.” He went back to the bitch with purple hair. I call her a bitch not because Mike was having an affair but she started posting pictures with my children and when I tell you I saw blood, I wanted her dead. 6 months of not seeing my children and I despised him more than ever. He used my money to come back to RI, which I didn’t care my babies were coming home where they belonged. He was dead to me and still he had control, my weak ass took him back again. See that glare in his eyes, I had to see that every damn day for 11 years. He was the devil in disguise.

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