ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR

“Words”

When the words in your head are so mixed up,

The world around you keeps spinning, damn what was said?

Curled up in a ball replaying the things you said,

Changed who I was while I couldn’t even get out of bed,

Said you loved me then brutally destroyed me,

Always find my way to a toxic man, not sure why I’m so blind,

Fake smiles, phony laughs, they see right through me into my insecurities,

Words in piles trying to escape my mouth but I can’t breathe and it’s unbearable,

Feels like I’m panicking but my body is still, can’t move or let these words go,

I write all the time, but these words replay on repeat like a terrible soundtrack,

Just say it god damn it, let go of all that hate that fills you with nonsense,

You’re not your past, so forget it and take a step forward,

Stop being a coward, he can’t hurt you anymore,

Stuck in my own brain filled with pain and self-hate,

Remember those days when smiling came naturally and not forced and fake,

The girl who’s eyes sparkled whenever she laughed,

You made me believe I was nothing, a waste of space,

How do you rid that type of pain from a brain that’s trapped in fear?

I have not a single tear left to cry, you will soon have your time,

I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I was meant to be,

In time you’ll see those words won’t haunt my dreams.

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