ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

The Summer That Changed Everything.

aWhen Maggie moved in it was because we were getting her away from her piece of shit boyfriend… named Mike. (Go figure) Maggie and I had met a couple years before at work, and right away I knew this girl was going to be my best friend. We were so much alike it was scary but she is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. She has a heart of gold and is extremely loyal to those that are loyal to her. We were inseparable, and my children loved her. Yes, we partied and still did everything we were supposed too. She would help me sneak out to meet Chris, and when I came home we would stay up all night talking. She was everything I ever wanted in a best friend, and yes we began to mess around because why the hell not. We were both fighting the demons that were branded in us to make us feel worthless. We talked about everything, and I trusted her with my life. We spent days at the pool, and spent time with my family who of course assumed the worst. “We were doing heavy drugs, I was to skinny.. well maybe my aunt should have thought about all the comments she made when I was chubby and my friends were perfect. We were bad influences on each other.” You name it, they said it and for the first time I did not give a shit what my family thought. I had my soul sister who witnessed everything he did to me and do it in front of the kids. Mike started acting really weird, even for him. He hated the fact that I had someone there for me at all times, but the way he looked at her, scared the shit out of me. He would get so drunk and try and hang out with us, as he was falling into my shower breaking the bar. Leaving messes everywhere. He was a fucking mess. I couldn’t handle it, I was losing my mind and was in an extremely bad manic phase. I needed help, and I needed to get back on my medication so I did a 5 day, day program at Butler. Honestly it was awful, they didn’t help at all. Maggie watched the boys when I went. She was always there for me. I was done with the program and out of work for a few weeks, which honestly I needed. One night Maggie and I were messing around, and Mike walked in and flipped the fuck out. I wouldn’t go out there, but Maggie did, and I wish more than anything in this world I had gone out there with her. When I woke up the next morning, he didn’t go to work, he was trashed out of his mind. I packed some lunches and snacks and called my sister. Me and Matthew had walked back in the house to see him on top of her, trying to touch her, and tried to rape her. I felt sick, how could I have let this happen to my best friend? Why didn’t I come in earlier and save her from my monster of a husband. I ¬†wanted to kill him, but I blamed myself more. How can you do that to someone? He wasn’t in deguise anymore, he was the fucking devil. My sister had picked all of us up and we went and had a picnic at my dads grave. I just wanted to erase what had happened to her. I wanted to change the past and I couldn’t. That same day, Maggie moved out, and I hated him so much but I hated myself more. I should have been there to stop him. I don’t care what he would have done to me, I should have fucking stopped him.¬†

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