The Worst is Yet To Come

After Corey passed my depression went into a downward spiral, I didn’t want to eat, I couldn’t sleep, and I had no one to talk too. It seemed like September went by in a blur. I wasn’t myself and the only person I could confide in was my moms best friend Beth (who I’m pretty sure I mentioned before was a second mom to me.) I told her everything and never once had to hold back. She was that person who I trusted more than anyone in this world. October came and I spent it working constantly just to keep myself occupied. I spent Halloween with my sister Jessica and my kids, and my niece Sierra. her son went with his friends. We had a decent time considering my oldest was miserable for 3 quarters of the night. Matthew makes any situation fun, and into an adventure so he made the night worth it. When we got home, of course Mike was drunk. It was a school night so I got the boys ready for bed and went right in my room. I didn’t want to be bothered or fight. I was mentally, and physically drained. When I go into my deep depressions, I isolate myself from everyone, friends, family, co-workers, literally everyone. I barely talk, because I feel weak. I would sit in my bedroom and write. This bedroom was my safe place, and the only place I could think straight. I wrote non stop about everything on my mind, to poetry, quotes, and little short stories. On the weekends, I was kept occupied by my children and niece who always wanted to write with me, so we would come up with a subject and write a short story about it and then we would each take turns grading each others stories. (I’m not one to brag, but I always got an A++.) The kids kept me going when I didn’t want to go on. My upstairs neighbor was always trying to get me out of the house, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the energy to do it. October came to an end, and November was supposed to be one of the best months for me. I was turning 30 on Thanksgiving, I had plans to go out and I was excited about it. That night and the next morning turned into a night/day I will never be able to celebrate again. Sorry to leave you in dispense, I will do my best to post tomorrow.

Kept Aunty strong when the world couldn’t.

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