It's 3am just me and my demons, Counting the mistakes I've made, Wondering why I've lasted this long, Struggling to remain strong when I feel so weak, Listening to that song on repeat, Lyrics so fitting it's scary, Self-blame and self-hate radiate within me, Was it my fault he raped me? Did I deserve the… Continue reading Long Nights
I have been through hell and back with this man for 11 years of my life. After I had filed the restraining order, we had went to court and I had told the judge that the Volunteer Lawer Program was working on finding me a lawyer. The judge extended my court date and Mike did… Continue reading When He Still Has Control
The next few months were hell, he would fight with me non-stop, telling my kids that I was a terrible mother and I didn't know how to take care of them. Michael stood up to him for me and told his father that I did a better job than he ever would. I jumped in… Continue reading The Next Few Months Broke Me But She Gave Me Strength.
Every day I was in pain, my stomach was always bothering me. About two weeks after the rape I went to the bathroom and I felt something, he pushed a tampon inside me and I had no idea. I sat on my bathroom floor and cried and was scared to death. What if I had… Continue reading Weakness
After Corey passed my depression went into a downward spiral, I didn't want to eat, I couldn't sleep, and I had no one to talk too. It seemed like September went by in a blur. I wasn't myself and the only person I could confide in was my moms best friend Beth (who I'm pretty… Continue reading The Worst is Yet To Come
To everyone who has been reading my blog I pray I help one of you. My sister from Connecticut just came down to take my son out for his birthday. I asked If I could talk to her, see why she hasn't called or asked how I'm doing. Mind you my sisters were my best… Continue reading My Sisters Broke Me Today.
Again he had asked me to move back to Florida, this time with his parents. Mind you, his mother is just as much of a piece of shit as him. My father in law is absolutely amazing, and although I didn't want to I went anyway. It was the worst mistake I had ever made… Continue reading Why Make The Same Mistake Twice?
This is a poem I wasn't sure I wanted to share, but I promised my story and my poetry is part of me.
When you give someone a second chance, you are also giving yourself the ability to feel that pain all over again. After every fight, and every girl I caught you talking to, I forgave you in hopes of you changing into the man I thought you could be. When the offer to move to Florida… Continue reading How Many Chances Are To Many?