ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

Long Nights

It's 3am just me and my demons, Counting the mistakes I've made, Wondering why I've lasted this long, Struggling to remain strong when I feel so weak, Listening to that song on repeat, Lyrics so fitting it's scary, Self-blame and self-hate radiate within me, Was it my fault he raped me? Did I deserve the… Continue reading Long Nights

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

Weakness

Every day I was in pain, my stomach was always bothering me. About two weeks after the rape I went to the bathroom and I felt something, he pushed a tampon inside me and I had no idea. I sat on my bathroom floor and cried and was scared to death. What if I had… Continue reading Weakness

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR

“Words”

When the words in your head are so mixed up, The world around you keeps spinning, damn what was said? Curled up in a ball replaying the things you said, Changed who I was while I couldn’t even get out of bed, Said you loved me then brutally destroyed me, Always find my way to… Continue reading “Words”

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR

When A Party Girl Turns Into an Alcoholic

My mom and sisters were the people who I ran to for everything. My mother was always there for me no matter what, she  was and still is my best friend. My sisters tried to be there whenever they could, until recently that is. I had vented to them all of the time and yes,… Continue reading When A Party Girl Turns Into an Alcoholic

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR

How Many Chances Are To Many?

When you give someone a second chance, you are also giving yourself the ability to feel that pain all over again. After every fight, and every girl I caught you talking to, I forgave you in hopes of you changing into the man I thought you could be. When the offer to move to Florida… Continue reading How Many Chances Are To Many?

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

When Emotional Turns Physical

On our one year wedding anniversary we moved into our first apartment together, for a while it was just us. It was non stop fighting and Michael wasn't even one yet. He didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 5. The mental and emotional abuse was terrible. Any chance he got he was… Continue reading When Emotional Turns Physical