I am the author of my life, and the only person who can edit it is me. If I choose to let the men who hurt me take over who I am as a person, then I have lost myself entirely. For eleven years I was a stranger to myself, and it was the… Continue reading “She Never Needed To Be Saved, She Saved Herself”
As I sit here shaking writing this, I don't know what to do with what is going on inside my brain. I am losing long periods of time and have no idea what is happening during those hours I missed. I had asked my son during one of my episodes if mommy was doing anything… Continue reading When PTSD Takes Over Your Life
I have wanted this tattoo for as long as I can remember.. I never intended on being a victim of domestic violence or sexual abuse, but here I am, 30 years old and have been through the worst possible things imaginable. The part that matters most is I am still here standing. Yes, I am… Continue reading My Story Isn’t Over Yet.
It's 3am just me and my demons, Counting the mistakes I've made, Wondering why I've lasted this long, Struggling to remain strong when I feel so weak, Listening to that song on repeat, Lyrics so fitting it's scary, Self-blame and self-hate radiate within me, Was it my fault he raped me? Did I deserve the… Continue reading Long Nights
I have been through hell and back with this man for 11 years of my life. After I had filed the restraining order, we had went to court and I had told the judge that the Volunteer Lawer Program was working on finding me a lawyer. The judge extended my court date and Mike did… Continue reading When He Still Has Control
Mom had moved back in with my aunt, and I had a roommate Steph, She heard the verbal and emotional abuse on a day-to-day basis. He had gotten a really good job, but everyday he would come home already half drunk and at the time I was completely sober. He would scream at me all… Continue reading When You Completely Give Up on Yourself.
This is a poem I wasn't sure I wanted to share, but I promised my story and my poetry is part of me.
This boy changed me from the girl who partied too much into a woman who changed everything about herself to give him a good life, but unfortunately pain changes you into someone you can't even reconize. As time moves forward and the abuse gets worse, you usually turn to something to numb it, so I… Continue reading When Superwoman Turns Powerless
On March 22, 2008, I thought I had met the man of my dreams. I was only 19 years old, young and so naïve. He was 11 years older than me and that didn't matter to me. I had never had a man in my life to teach me what love was, so when this… Continue reading The day I met him.