ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

Blood or Water?

In the last few weeks I have been paying attention to everything around me, whether it be negative or positive. We try to see the best in everyone when really, we’re blind. People are out to protect themselves no matter who it hurts. We believe family should always come first, even when they prove that… Continue reading Blood or Water?

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

“She Never Needed To Be Saved, She Saved Herself”

          I am the author of my life, and the only person who can edit it is me. If I choose to let the men who hurt me take over who I am as a person, then I have lost myself entirely. For eleven years I was a stranger to myself, and it was the… Continue reading “She Never Needed To Be Saved, She Saved Herself”

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

Forgive For Your Own Growth

If you want to change things in your life, you must free the things that hold you back. The past can either break you or it can make you. You must be the one to decide your present and your future. Are you a victim or are you a survivor? Our mind set is one… Continue reading Forgive For Your Own Growth

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

Black Cloud

I'm not sure where to start with this post.. last night I had to lock myself in the bathroom where I couldn't breathe nor stop shaking. I never realized the people you've known forever are the ones who will scare you, test your strength, and remind you of how weak you truly are. My children… Continue reading Black Cloud

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

When PTSD Takes Over Your Life

As I sit here shaking writing this, I don't know what to do with what is going on inside my brain. I am losing long periods of time and have no idea what is happening during those hours I missed. I had asked my son during one of my episodes if mommy was doing anything… Continue reading When PTSD Takes Over Your Life

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

My Story Isn’t Over Yet.

I have wanted this tattoo for as long as I can remember.. I never intended on being a victim of domestic violence or sexual abuse, but here I am, 30 years old and have been through the worst possible things imaginable. The part that matters most is I am still here standing. Yes, I am… Continue reading My Story Isn’t Over Yet.

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

Long Nights

It's 3am just me and my demons, Counting the mistakes I've made, Wondering why I've lasted this long, Struggling to remain strong when I feel so weak, Listening to that song on repeat, Lyrics so fitting it's scary, Self-blame and self-hate radiate within me, Was it my fault he raped me? Did I deserve the… Continue reading Long Nights

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

When He Still Has Control

I have been through hell and back with this man for 11 years of my life. After I had filed the restraining order, we had went to court and I had told the judge that the Volunteer Lawer Program was working on finding me a lawyer. The judge extended my court date and Mike did… Continue reading When He Still Has Control

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

The Next Few Months Broke Me But She Gave Me Strength.

The next few months were hell, he would fight with me non-stop, telling my kids that I was a terrible mother and I didn't know how to take care of them. Michael stood up to him for me and told his father that I did a better job than he ever would. I jumped in… Continue reading The Next Few Months Broke Me But She Gave Me Strength.

ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SURVIVOR, Uncategorized

Weakness

Every day I was in pain, my stomach was always bothering me. About two weeks after the rape I went to the bathroom and I felt something, he pushed a tampon inside me and I had no idea. I sat on my bathroom floor and cried and was scared to death. What if I had… Continue reading Weakness